[ there's a rawness in the way he says just that, his horror and distress too much. something in Jack's chest twists, painful, a sharp lance of hurt from sympathy and sadness and love. there's the urge again to just crawl in close, to lean in and rest his forehead against Hiccup's, to climb up onto the bed and hold him until he realises that he's important, too, he's good and he matters so much. but he can't, he can't, he doesn't know where the boundaries are or whether Hiccup would even want that, so he just— he stays where he is on the floor and lets his earnestness spill from him instead, thoughtless. ]
Hiccup, I don't care how strong you are, you're the best person I've ever known. [ they're still speaking quietly but Jack says it fiercely, intense, you are you are. ] You saw my memories, you saw the Guardians trying to get me to join them. They said I had to, and I said no. I...
[ there are similar things in his own recent experience that he could offer up in sympathy — everything with the Guardians, losing Sandy, ruining all of Easter — and for once, his throat doesn't close up as badly when he thinks of confessing just a few of them to Hiccup. but it feels like if he does that, he'll just be turning this back to himself. he's done enough of that, especially to Hiccup, Jack needs to stop being such a selfish little brat and actually be good to the people that deserve this.
he shakes his head and breathes out, calming himself. maybe he's not going to pull himself up there and curl up beside Hiccup, but he does shift one of his arms out from underneath his head and takes hold of the hand plucking at the mattress with his own. ]
I'm not gonna make this about me. [ it always ends up being about him, selfish and hopeless and needy. ] What I'm trying to say is... It's okay if you don't want to, or, or if you don't know. And you're Chief even though you're not sure, right? You're still trying? Hiccup, listen, you're such a good person and I— you're so good that sometimes I feel like you can't even be real but you are.
[ he didn't realise it would be so hard to do this, to explain to someone how much you love them. all of the words just seem to catch in his throat and it's so frustrating that he can't even get this right. there's so much love in him that it feels like his chest is going to crack trying to hold it all but he doesn't know how to make Hiccup see that. ]
And for now, you're here. There's still time to figure it out.
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[ there's a rawness in the way he says just that, his horror and distress too much. something in Jack's chest twists, painful, a sharp lance of hurt from sympathy and sadness and love. there's the urge again to just crawl in close, to lean in and rest his forehead against Hiccup's, to climb up onto the bed and hold him until he realises that he's important, too, he's good and he matters so much. but he can't, he can't, he doesn't know where the boundaries are or whether Hiccup would even want that, so he just— he stays where he is on the floor and lets his earnestness spill from him instead, thoughtless. ]
Hiccup, I don't care how strong you are, you're the best person I've ever known. [ they're still speaking quietly but Jack says it fiercely, intense, you are you are. ] You saw my memories, you saw the Guardians trying to get me to join them. They said I had to, and I said no. I...
[ there are similar things in his own recent experience that he could offer up in sympathy — everything with the Guardians, losing Sandy, ruining all of Easter — and for once, his throat doesn't close up as badly when he thinks of confessing just a few of them to Hiccup. but it feels like if he does that, he'll just be turning this back to himself. he's done enough of that, especially to Hiccup, Jack needs to stop being such a selfish little brat and actually be good to the people that deserve this.
he shakes his head and breathes out, calming himself. maybe he's not going to pull himself up there and curl up beside Hiccup, but he does shift one of his arms out from underneath his head and takes hold of the hand plucking at the mattress with his own. ]
I'm not gonna make this about me. [ it always ends up being about him, selfish and hopeless and needy. ] What I'm trying to say is... It's okay if you don't want to, or, or if you don't know. And you're Chief even though you're not sure, right? You're still trying? Hiccup, listen, you're such a good person and I— you're so good that sometimes I feel like you can't even be real but you are.
[ he didn't realise it would be so hard to do this, to explain to someone how much you love them. all of the words just seem to catch in his throat and it's so frustrating that he can't even get this right. there's so much love in him that it feels like his chest is going to crack trying to hold it all but he doesn't know how to make Hiccup see that. ]
And for now, you're here. There's still time to figure it out.